My Marriage | 32 Years In

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 With the memory of this year’s Super Bowl still fresh in my mind, I’ve been thinking about halftime. I don’t mean the big show featuring Bruno Mars for the entertainment of fans, but rather that welcome interval in the middle of the game when teams have an opportunity to assess their performance thus far and make necessary adjustments to ensure a win. Though the halftime score matters, it doesn’t necessarily reflect the way the game will end. Sometimes those who seem irretrievably behind find a way—the right strategy, the inspiration, and the will to turn things around. On the other hand, many who seem to have matters in hand, unable to keep their comfortable position in perspective, mistakenly assume they can coast through the second half to the final whistle, only to see their confidence evaporate with their lead.

            Tanya and I have been married 32 years. Each of our parents were married for about six decades before death ended their time together. Both sets of my grandparents were married about seven decades. Should God be so gracious to us, that means we are at halftime—time for a look back at what worked and what didn’t, for adjustments that will give us a stronger advantage in the future, for strategic decisions that take into account the fatigue that begins to wear down even the strongest and the most determined players.

            In the days and weeks ahead, I plan to share some first half mistakes and second half adjustments. I’ll be candid about what we did well and where we failed. I’ll be as transparent as I can without irreparably embarrassing Tanya or myself, but I will be clear enough that other married couples can emulate our successes and avert our failures. Life’s too short and time too precious for any couple to learn only from their own experiences, so breathing a prayer that God might use our lives and lessons to shape others, we will confess and warn, share and encourage, and above all, point everyone to the grace of God in Christ Jesus.