Avoiding Disappointment Distraction: A Lesson for Pastors

 

            At Buck Run, we designate June as a special month of Wednesday night events, most of them of the picnic/swim party/outreach activity variety, what we call a Level 1 event. We use these both as outreach, encouraging our members to invite and bring unchurched friends with them, and as opportunities for our regular attenders to get to know one another, which is always a challenge in a church with multiple services.

            This year we planned for one Wednesday night event to be a completely different kind of experience, a service of praise and prayer, alternating musical worship and times of testimony and intercession. So last night, Wednesday June 18, we enjoyed a brief time of fellowship outside by the South Elkhorn Creek, eating ice cream sandwiches, and then we went into the sanctuary where Pastor Adam Bishop, our choir, praise band, and soloists led us in one of the greatest times of praise and petition I have ever known.

            I cannot, in this space, convey in any adequate or meaningful way the glory that came down in that room. It seemed that the Lord just delighted to say, “You didn’t come here expecting much, but I am going to fill this summer evening with a glimpse of my splendor and beauty, with Myself.” Whether in the testimony of a deacon whom God healed from non-Hodgkins lymphoma, the tears of a teenager singing in the choir, or the sharing of burdens and prayer, God was evident, and He was magnificent. I was dazed and overwhelmed with a palpable sense of God’s presence.

            If you weren’t there—and you probably weren’t—the mental image in your mind is perhaps of a church filled with people praising the Lord. Think again. Most seats remained empty as about seventy people (I’m estimating) sat scattered across the cavernous sanctuary. Our choir sang, our praise band played, our soloists used their phenomenal talents to a largely empty room.

            As a younger pastor, I would have been angry, bothered, hurt, disappointed, or embarrassed that more people didn’t come. I would have spent much of the night thinking of all the other things, surely less spiritual or significant, that our church members must be doing instead of getting with the program. I would have lamented that people come to a swim party more readily than to a program of praise and prayer.

            And my disappointment would have been palpable and would have poisoned and contaminated those dear souls who did come in anticipation of an encounter with the living God. As justifiable as some of those thoughts might be, they aren’t helpful, certainly not at that particular time. It might prove worthwhile in a staff meeting or a time of introspection to ask how we could have promoted it better or how to lead our people more effectively to love worship and prayer, but that time is not when the event is happening.

            How can a leader respond in the face of poor turnout and disappointingly low participation?

1.         Be in the moment. Save the recriminations and questions for later. For the present, fulfill the purpose of the event you’ve planned. As Jim Elliot wrote, “Wherever you are, be all there.”

2.         Don’t judge the faithfulness or commitment of your people by their participation in any single episode. Look at the big picture. Learn to distinguish between a systemic, perpetual problem and a single poor showing.

3.         Don’t let your disappointment with attendance show or in any way adversely affect the event. In other words, don’t even say anything about it. “Well, not many of us showed up tonight, but the Lord is here, and that’s all that matters.” The minute you say that, you have cast a pall over everyone who came and you’ve probably lied as well. If that were really all that mattered, you wouldn’t even feel the need to say it. The pastor is the de facto leader of everything in the church. The longer you serve in a church, the more easily they sense your emotions and feelings, and the more in tune with them they grow. If you’re uptight, they will be too. If you act disappointed and bitter, so will they. You cannot control the level of participation by your whole church, but you can affect the quality of participation by those who attend. Put aside any disappointment you might feel and immerse yourself in the moment with the same vigor and enthusiasm that you would have if the room were overflowing.

4.         Do what you do with excellence for the Lord, not for the size of the crowd. Every now and then I think the Lord allows disappointments to remind us of the focus.

5.         Make the event encouraging, enlightening, and enjoyable. If those who came had a great time, they will tell others and that builds confidence and involvement.

I’m incredibly blessed that our choir and praise team performed no differently than they would have if a thousand people had come. Their energy and passion could not have been higher, their singing more skillful, their spirits more worshipful. My fellow pastor, Adam Bishop, really set the tone for them and for the entire service, and it showed. Their faithfulness was used of the Holy Spirit to exalt Christ and to bless everyone who was fortunate enough to be there. Far from feeling disappointment or irritation at members who were not there, I genuinely regret that they did not get to be a part of what God did, and I’m already thinking how we can do this again so others can enjoy it, too.